The messy middle
"The middle is messy, but it's also where the magic happens"
Brené Brown
I came across this quote again today (love Brené!) and it really got me thinking about our lives and experiences at midlife - that messy middle when our bodies are changing yet again (yay reverse puberty aka perimenopause…) and our lives are perhaps at their most challenging and busiest. We may be balancing work, children, elderly parents, lockdown, or a combination of all of the above. It can all feel very…well…MESSY! And we may feel a lack of control and an uncertainty about where and how it will all resolve itself.
The magic of the middle isn’t about coming out the other side as some kind of completely different person/post-menopausal-badass-biker-granny-fairy-queen. Ok, I made that up….but we’ve all seen those memes! Are we really going to come out the other side a completely different person than when we went in? Probably not. And who needs that pressure? (Though if you WANT to be a biker granny, absolutely go for it!!)
I believe the magic is in the opportunity to create a stronger, deeper connection to who we really are. It’s in finding the pieces of ourselves that have been scattered by work, kids, life. It’s in becoming more honestly and openly ourselves.
So how do we get though the messy? Well, as Brené says, you’ve gotta rumble! Your body, with all of its glorious messiness, is the perfect place to start. The very first step in the peri/menopause rumble is learning how to connect to, listen to, and care for your body - and this means putting the effort in. But the payoff will be huge - becoming stronger, calmer, better rested, and protecting your bones, heart and brain will mean you can not only better navigate the rumble, but you’ll also be better prepared for whatever comes next.
So how do you get into the rumble? Start by taking control of the controllables (gratitude to Michelle Lyons). And what are they, you might ask? Here are some things you can do just for you, that are absolutely within your control:
🌺 Move, move, move, and move more. Find something you like to do and do.it. And then do it some more.
🌺 Start a meditation and/or mindfulness practice.
🌺 Learn how to rest (yes, it’s a practice!)
🌺 Sort out your sleep (Which is not the same as resting, but resting can get you started!)
These are just a few starting points. And yes, they all require effort and practice and patience and work. And I can help! I will be exploring these steps in more depth in future blogs. And if you’re not sure how or where to get started, reach out and let’s talk. You can also keep an eye on my social media pages, where I give loads of tips and practices to try (links below the quote box).
The rumble is a process, not an instant cure. But it helps you to discover how resilient and amazing you truly are. And that beats biker-granny-fairy-queen any day!
The magic of the messy middle? It is the process of revealing the real you.
With love,
Laura
